Thursday, December 13, 2012

Good advice for people of all ages - coping with bullies

Sou | 4:03 PM Feel free to comment!
I spotted a link to this article on the Feministing blog.  It's from HuffPost and lists:

10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before She Turns 10

(Loving the symmetry of the headline).

In the context of the early articles on this blog, which aim at getting out of my system the horrible treatment from Greg D'Arcy and the moderators at HotCopper share discussion board (as well as providing a warning for the unwary), item number 8 is worth remembering:
8. It is almost never about you. What I mean is that when people act in a way that hurts or makes you feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about you. I struggle with this one mightily, and I have tried very, very hard never once to tell you you are being "too sensitive" or to "get over it" when you feel hurt. Believe me, I know how feelings can slice your heart, even if your head knows otherwise. But maybe, just maybe, it will help to remember that almost always other people are struggling with their own demons, even if they bump into you by accident.
The HotCopper experience didn't make me feel insecure.  And I didn't think I was hurt so much as deeply aggrieved and angered.  However that's not quite true - I was hurt.  Particularly as many posters regarded me as having immense patience despite the bullying, stalking and harassment deniers incessantly bombarded.  Even two 'deniers' have indicated they 'missed me' and my science posts, and I believe they were genuine.

The bit about agressors 'struggling with their own demons' is worth bearing in mind.  HotCopper mods must feel very threatened by me and know they cannot justify their actions, because they quickly delete any post that mentions me by name and have reportedly threatened posters who've done so.  That's in contrast to other people they have suspended where they even allowed discussion of the suspension itself when it came to posters such as Voltaire, CranswickBigGambler and IronMike among others (subs req'd).

There has been quite a bit of research recently on the mental contortions extreme right wing ideologues have to go through to try to rationalise their opinions and actions.  I'll write more about them here when I get some time.  As a taster, here is an article by Profs Stephan Lewandowsky and Klaus Oberauer about 'mental models'.  A copy of their paper can be found here.

If anyone knows of any research into whether there is a correlation between sexism and right wing fundamentalism, conspiracy ideation and/or rejection of science, particularly climate science, I'd really like to know about it.

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